


In the Morning Light

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Fluff, No Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-15
Updated: 2003-11-15
Packaged: 2018-12-27 15:03:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083535
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian watches Justin sleep.





	In the Morning Light

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

I saw him standing there and the world just seemed to stop. I could not believe how beautiful he looked under the glow of the streetlamp. He seemed to be enveloped in light. The blonde hair and those eyes. They saw straight to my soul. It was then that I knew he was more than a one night fuck. He was much more than just some trick. What I didn't know was how much he would become part of me. 

 

Waking up to Justin is as natural as breathing for me. I never thought I would find myself in love. But I have to admit it to myself if no one else. I love him. I want to be with him above all else. He is part of my soul. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. I have to stop myself from telling him how much I need him everytime we make love. I can't handle his reaction yet. 

 

He is just so damn full of himself. He knows I love him and he teases me every chance he gets. Thinks he can trick me into saying it. But he doesn't push me. He loves me. More than anyone should ever love me. He knows my ways and my thoughts. He can look at me and just know what I am thinking and how I feel. That scares me. 

 

He doesn't take my shit. He calls me on it, makes me deal with it and makes me face the possibility of love everyday. He knows how to push my buttons to get what he wants. But he doesn't ask for much. He just wants to be here with me. 

 

He deserves so much more than me. He deserves someone who loves him totally and unconditionaly. I can't give him that. Not now. But I don't want him to find someone who can. That scares me so much. I don't want to lose him. But I can't give him what he wants. I can't give him my heart. He already owns my soul. He already has my heart. He just doesn't know it yet. 

 

The thought of him with someone else makes me crazy. It feels like someone is ripping out my heart and just stomping on it. The thought of another man touching him. Loving him. Inside him. God it makes me want to kill him. I don't know how I can ever let him go. But how can I expect him to stay. He isn't getting what he needs from me. 

 

Justin needs love. From one man. He needs a man who can just be with him. No one else. Just him. He needs a man who isn't afraid to love him. He needs someone who deserves his love. Who will appreciate it. Who can return it. I am not that man. I don't know if I ever will be. 

 

He deserves so much more than me. He deserves a life full of love and committment. He deserves the best. I can't give him that. I never could. 

 

Thinking back on that night makes me wish I had not seen him standing there. Then he would not be in this mess with me. He would have had the chance to find someone who could love him. Someone who could give him the world. All I can give him is today. No promises of tomorrow. No promises of a future. No promises. 

 

I have to find away to let him go. I have to find a way to make my heart stop loving him. I have to find a way to make myself not feel the pain when he does leave. Or else I have to let him in. I don't know what would hurt more. Losing him or loving him. 

 

Looking at him lying here in my bed with his head on my chest just fills me with a sense of peace. He is all I want here. The smell of him. The taste of him. The feel of him. How can I go one day without that? How can I live without him? How will I survive him leaving? How will I make it through the night? Before Justin I slept maybe 2, 3 hours a night. Now with him here I sleep soundly all night. Before Justin nothing mattered. I didn't eat or sleep. I drank, I fucked anyone. Now that Justin is here all I want is him. 

 

Justin makes sure I am ok. He makes sure there is food in the house. He makes sure I make it home from Babylon everynight. He loves me and I love him. 

 

The sunlight streaming in on that beautiful face. I love this man. He is just so beautiful. He glows in the mornings. 

 

Brian stares at Justin. He leans in and kisses his lips softly whispering "I love you Justin." Brian closes his eyes and drifts off to sleep. Justin waits until he hears Brian's even breathing before he says anything. He knows Brian is asleep by the light snoring. He stretches and lightly kisses Brian's cheek. "I love you too Brian. And I am not going anywhere." Justin closes his eyes and breathes in the smell of Brian. He rests his head on Brian's chest and drifts off to sleep in the arms of the man that loves him.


End file.
